Swine Flu Carriers
The media is running hot with Swine Flu stories right now. As a community service, we here at Televised Revolution have decided to pull together a list of the Top 5 Potential Swine Flu Carriers. They may be charming, but for the love of God, steer clear!
5. Sir Oinksalot.
Found: Supporting the A&M team near Springfield.
M.O: He oinks. A lot.
4. Pigsy
Found: Battling demons, monsters and bandits with his commrades Monkey and Tripitaka.
M.O: Gluttonous with food.
3. Arnold Ziffel
Found: Living with Oliver and Lisa in Hooterville.
M.O: Exhibits abilities often beyond the grasp of everyday pigs. ie can change channels on the TV, and can win holidays to Hawaii.
2. Sam Newman
Found: Talking about football.
M.O: Courts controversy. Televises his own prostate surgery.
1. Miss Piggy
Found: Seeking stardom
M.O: Has a strong fondness for frogs. Pig to Frog transmission of the Swine Flu may be a serious issue.
Tags: arnold ziffel, green acres, miss piggy, Monkey, Pigsy, sam newman, Sir Oinksalot, swine flu
6 Comments to “Swine Flu Carriers”
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Anders says:
Laurie Oakes?
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J says:
Ha! Laurie Oakes!! Nice one Anders. He certainly is a swine.
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What about Homer Simpson?
Found: Sitting on couch, eating pork rinds.
M.O. Has hung around with Spiderpig and Sir Oinksalot (Remember the classic line, “Curly, straight, curly, straight!”) while son has ridden pigs and been ridden by pigs (Watch They Saved Lisa’s Brain) -
On the topic of Sam Newman:
http://www.defamer.com.au/2009/04/sam-newman-asks-all-the-single-ladies-to-put-your-hands-up/
Sam Newman Asks All The Single Ladies To Put Your Hands Up
By Jess McGuire on April 29, 2009 at 8:46 AMFinally, the moment every red blooded woman in this fine country of ours has been waiting for… a chance to win the heart – or at the very least, the arm – of legendary lothario and noted feminist Sam Newman. Sure, it’s only for one night – but what a night!
Yes, it seems Sam’s on the prowl for a date to the Logies, and he’s willing to take just about any kind of female along. C’mon, bitches – you know you want to! Don’t force him to dress up a mannequin for the occasion, you know how that shit ends (hint: not well).
“At this stage I’m putting out a call for anyone to come with me — man, woman or beast,” Newman said. “It’s getting close now and I’m running out of offers.”
With the big night less than a week away Newman said he was widening his search.
“I’m looking around right now to see who might still be available,” he said. “I’m just living in hope that someone might just turn up with me.”
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I have that Miss Piggy album!
It explains my physique.